Cheating usually signals the end of a relationship.
However, a pair of clinical psychologists have stated that needn’t be the case, as infidelity could provide the spark needed for couples to reignite their partnership.
Helen Robertson and Shahn Baker Sorekli have almost thirty years of combined professional experience, and they believe that infidelity may not signal the end of a relationship. Instead, they think that cheating can put a relationship under a microscope and provide the impetus for needed change.
They discussed this in a statement detailing an app they created entitled My Love Your Love. The app is designed to make therapy more accessible and better equip couples to navigate their relationships.
They also believe that it can improve the connection between couples while also encouraging more open and honest communication.
Their statement read: “If there is any further infidelity, lying, betrayal, or other breaches of trust, this will only cause more harm and pain. But if the partners pay attention to and understand the threats to the relationship, and if the victim of the affair feels safe, there is an opportunity to build an emotionally stronger connection.”
In fact, the psychologists state that the act can be freeing for both the cheater and the victim as it could lead to a more authentic and honest relationship. Of course, for a couple to benefit from the change of dynamic, the cheating partner has to accept their part in the distress they have caused.
In their tips to get by and be stronger after such an event, Helen and Shahn recommend that “if you are the one who cheated, take responsibility for your actions. They also recommend that the victim tries to avoid “shaming and blaming”, but instead focusses on how the actions made them feel.
Their hope is that the use of the My Love Your Love app can prevent couples from ending up a situation where one of them cheats. However, if it does happen, they hope the app will help them get back on track.